2012

They said that this year would be the end of the world. They who? I bet they’re bunch of people with insufficient understanding of what our prophet Mohammad and Isa (Jesus) delivered through Qur’an and Bible, that none of the creature, except God, who know when the world will end. None of us, nor the scientiest, the academicians, nor the filmmaker. Or maybe they were just freakingly afraid about how will it be, thus they tried to imagine and visualize it into a movie, that for me, even the movie is too shallow and not enjoyable to watch. Not because the the-end-of-the-world theme in fact terrifies me, but because some of the scenes just did not make sense. And not to exclude, the pathetic acting of the casts. It made the film even worse.

Today’s December 18th, just three days before the doomsday, as said by the filmmaker. Or if we suceeded to pass the date, we will be welcoming the new year pretty soon. 2013. How time flies. It indeed flies.

That means a decade ago when I first having a boyfriend at college, leaving all the high school memories behind. I eagerly stepped onto the new phase of life, the era of freedom and liberation, without hearing Mom’s shouting me to go out from room for dinner, without Dad’s getting mad at me because I awake late and causing us trapped in the damn morning traffic. The liberation that I dreamt of for years when I could decide everything I want to do; waking up late, skipping morning class after hang out with friends that night, a day with no breakfast and fastfood for lunch at the nearest mall from campus, practically running the not-so-healthy life. Everything at its best that time. But if I looked back, I realized that it was there as a phase of my life. That we are all keep growing and getting old. As time goes by, we require more sensibility. Now, after a decade, I see my hand’s waving to that phase. Yes, another year is coming up. How well should I be then?

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There is no such measurement. All I know is when celebrating new year, my age would be changing in a few weeks after. Next year I’ll be turning 28. 28 years, with one little family, with husband’s secured job and I also have mine to complement, with an adorable and amazing daughter, supportive parents and the in laws, a group of people I consider as friends, what else should I need?

I’m still complaining why we not yet accomplish our dream house, though we are on the way to make it happen. Still complaining why my colleagues could be pain in the ass, though I indeed know that everywhere I be, there will always be people like that. So, deal with it! Moreover, I am still complaining how I am suffered that my daughter is a picky-eater, without counting that her verbal skill is developing amazingly fast, that she is copying all the words that I spoke at her best, and many other things that I can’t define here. So, at the age of 28, why not see everything from the lighter side?

I am not a person who thinks that listing down resolutions for the upcoming year is something important. My life is based on just-go-with-the-flow basis though it does not mean that it was without plan. I plan everything that I like to do and never do the same way for things that I dislike. For example, today I can say that next year I should be going to Ha Noi as I postponed it for so long since before I had daughter, but I hesitate to plan that “I should be better managing anger at work”, simply because I know that it’s almost impossible to change myself into an emotionally-stable person that can conquer every conflict with logic and a flat face.

At this moment, 18th December 2012, I should put “stop complaining” plan on the top of the 2013 list of resolution. Sometimes I wish to transfer myself from Choleric to Pleghmatic person, from the determined into a reserved one. But changing personality is not as simple as we think. This time, at least I can plan to start making peace within me.

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