God is Good

Copied from Facebook Notes (01.01.13)

I barely remember when was the last time I wrote a note and I am slightly thinking that my writing ability is getting worse and worse. I have been quitting to work as feature writer from the beginning of 2011, and recently, having a 1,5-y.o.-daughter-that-always-keep-me-busy also contribute the reason why I am getting less often to write. So I almost forgot how to make a good writing; well-structured, right context, catchy and reader friendly, while most of the topics I have and like to talk about is just how happy I am to be a mother. And for some people, it more sounds boring than attractive.

But thanks if you keep reading, that means you’re not one of the people who thinks that I am too boring 🙂

January 1st, 2013. As routine, I send prayer to my grandmother in heaven (I am quite sure she is there, she’s the most lovable person on earth). Today is her birthday and she would have been 89 years old if she’s still alive. Last night I was wearing t-shirt that I found in Coconut Island store, it texts: My New Year Resolution: No Resolution. I bought it in discounted price though, as I still couldn’t take that one t-shirt would cost 200k rupiah (so much waste of money!). I didn’t celebrate the new year until 12AM, as my daughter needs to sleep earlier. We came home from Kemang at 9.30PM, after watching some fireworks show and I still remember how Dhara amazed with it (and along the way home, she keeps pointing at the sky outside and said “api…api…”). It was nice ambiance and glad that we could have it for free. We even ate at my newly-favorite fast food restaurant for dinner. Who said we should have all the fancy things to celebrate new year? 😀 Me? Growing up in a conservative family, my parents always said that Moslem should not celebrate the new year that based on Roman calendar. We have our own new year’s eve to welcome Hijriyah, my father once said. My husband? Grew in a moderately liberal circumstances, with some of the family members even married cross-religion, new year is something that they used to celebrate. After home, my husband swear that next year we should not repeat the same thing again for the new year’s eve 😀

Of course I am joking if I said that I don’t have any resolution for 2013. As usual, I have sooo many. Sadly, looks like I am always not being committed to achieve those resolutions after the new year’s euphoria ends. A couple of weeks from now, I will be 28. It is a mature age, so I think this time I should be more serious. I am trying to look back on 366 days of 2012, and for me, my life is good. My life is not perfect and maybe is not as great as yours, but I keep in mind that I’ve always been blessed. Yes, there were a lot of troubles happened, but God gave me the way and showed me how to overcome it all. Remember a year ago, when I always complaining that my daughter could not drink milk from bottles so that I should pump the breast milk as much as possible at the office? God is really good for that case, because I was working in a very flexible workplace and I had a very supportive boss. Imagine that 2×30 mins of my normal working time should be allocated for pumping, so that means I received 1/8 of my salary for free, right? Also remember when I was crazily suffered from babysitter’s drama? My boss allowed me to work from home for nearly 3 weeks, and he didn’t even giving me a lot of work burden because he knew that I already had tons at that time. He could understand when I said that I wasn’t be able to do the business trip as my daughter still depends on breastfeeding activity every night. He was a truly God sent! Moreover, I had a very delightful time at office since I had the best colleagues since I started working in 2006. I felt all the problems became hassle-free. We’ve done many things together and shared many things in common. It was something that I couldn’t ask for more.

But life must go on. The situation urged me to find another workplace to continue. Another challenge and experience. Admit that this time I should work harder and double than before, but everything came with price. In mid-2012, I successfully did the first business trip abroad. Okay, you are allowed to laugh out loud now. That may sounds silly, as some of you probably has done this many times and reached various places. But not for me. I as keep moving and jumping from one workplace to another, I hadn’t have a chance to go abroad, for training or just meeting. Who wants to send the staff like me for overseas training and spend thousand of dollars, when my CV recorded that I’d never stay in one place for more than 1 (one) year? I am definitely not a good investment for their institution 🙂 So, my travel to Bangkok last time was sort of an achievement for myself, despite my fear of flying, I was trying to enjoy it as much as possible. In the middle of tight schedule, I went to each mall and attraction by solo, and shopped a lot 🙂

In the end of 2012, I again got a shock therapy, as my babysitter (for the second time) wasn’t back from her ‘kampung’ after taking leave. After Eid, she did it once, but soon she made up her mind and she was back with one week delay. Well, problem was solved for a while. I strongly warned her not to do this anymore and she should give at least one month notification before quitting. But a maid is a maid, she wouldn’t care. So at the beginning of December, I took 2 weeks leave from work and almost decided to be a full-time mom, as I was quite fed up with the babysitter’s drama. I was thinking that: “hey, look, you think that I am not able to take care of my daughter? I can! I just need a babysitter because I am working, not because I can’t do the babysitting.” As a mother, I was emotionally disturbed. My mental health was in the worst condition. Moreover, my daughter became more and more spoiled if I was around. It was not a good sign. Hubby did not agree if I quit from job, but I indeed hesitate to find a new babysitter, trying hard to teach and make them comfortable but at the end they just stayed for a month or so. But again, God has been very good to me. On the 8th day without the babysitter, when my leave was only 6 days remaining, my mom-in-law, who attended a mourn of one of her relatives’ mother, found this babysitter. She used to take care of the old lady who died, and her employer offered us to use her service for trial, and after she suits the job, we could go the her supplier and do the paperworks. It was great, I took the offer. And grateful that the new babysitter wanted to stay with us and take care of my daughter. It was quite hard to find a babysitter who would happily run and follow wherever my daughter runs, to be patient to serve the meals to that super picky eater, and also deal with her stubbornness and persistence to get anything that she wants. I am her mother but i could say that it is not easy to have this kind of kid. And I could not complaint as my father always said that she copied me, thoroughly. Karma? 😀 So, after that, I got back to work and one more problem looks like being solved miraculously. 

Then there comes 2013.

As I said earlier, I am making a couple of resolutions for this year. Some of them are:

  1. I should stop browsing to strawberrynet.com, or I should make it less often. As an unofficial beauty junkie, I’ve got some huge discounts for some of my fave products, but that doesn’t mean that I must do it monthly, rite?
  2. I need to find a good pediatrician for my daughter. To date, we haven’t found the best one yet, whether they are too commercial or too conservative. We need a progressive but genuine one. Any recommendation?
  3. I should be a better wifey, by reducing my high temper and trying to keep my emotion more stable. Not to say I am going to be as flat as my husband though (that’s gonna be boring, yes?), and trying to cook more advanced dish (meaning not only frying some nuggets or boiling an egg)
  4. Have a healthier lifestyle. Back to gym and eating some diet pills to burn these (still) 6 kilos of excess fat, soon after I stop breastfeed my daughter in June 2013. My weight should be back to pre-pregnancy or at least no more than 60 kgs!
  5. Be more satisfied with my current job and not quitting before it reaches one year. That’s probably the most difficult one. I’m not easily satisfied, in any matters 😀
  6. We should start doing our house project. We love our apartment and its wow location, but we think that live in our apartment wouldn’t be a wise choice for our daughter (she loves run and play, barely can sit peacefully for more than 5 minutes, and therefore she needs space more than 30 sqm), but still living with parents no longer fits me. They’re both nice and wonderful, and they are very happy to see their one and only granddaughter everyday, but at this stage, I just want to run my family independently in our own humble house. I am not asking too much, eh?

I don’t know whether I still have some other resolutions, but this time I will just focus on those 6. If I accomplish any other than that, perhaps I am moving to other workplace with a salary two times higher, I will just consider that as a bonus 🙂 With God’s will, everything is possible, right?

So, I am wishing you all more success and happiness in 2013. Hope you get what you want and reach what have you dreamed of. 

Love,

IDY

Advertisements

2012

They said that this year would be the end of the world. They who? I bet they’re bunch of people with insufficient understanding of what our prophet Mohammad and Isa (Jesus) delivered through Qur’an and Bible, that none of the creature, except God, who know when the world will end. None of us, nor the scientiest, the academicians, nor the filmmaker. Or maybe they were just freakingly afraid about how will it be, thus they tried to imagine and visualize it into a movie, that for me, even the movie is too shallow and not enjoyable to watch. Not because the the-end-of-the-world theme in fact terrifies me, but because some of the scenes just did not make sense. And not to exclude, the pathetic acting of the casts. It made the film even worse.

Today’s December 18th, just three days before the doomsday, as said by the filmmaker. Or if we suceeded to pass the date, we will be welcoming the new year pretty soon. 2013. How time flies. It indeed flies.

That means a decade ago when I first having a boyfriend at college, leaving all the high school memories behind. I eagerly stepped onto the new phase of life, the era of freedom and liberation, without hearing Mom’s shouting me to go out from room for dinner, without Dad’s getting mad at me because I awake late and causing us trapped in the damn morning traffic. The liberation that I dreamt of for years when I could decide everything I want to do; waking up late, skipping morning class after hang out with friends that night, a day with no breakfast and fastfood for lunch at the nearest mall from campus, practically running the not-so-healthy life. Everything at its best that time. But if I looked back, I realized that it was there as a phase of my life. That we are all keep growing and getting old. As time goes by, we require more sensibility. Now, after a decade, I see my hand’s waving to that phase. Yes, another year is coming up. How well should I be then?

image

There is no such measurement. All I know is when celebrating new year, my age would be changing in a few weeks after. Next year I’ll be turning 28. 28 years, with one little family, with husband’s secured job and I also have mine to complement, with an adorable and amazing daughter, supportive parents and the in laws, a group of people I consider as friends, what else should I need?

I’m still complaining why we not yet accomplish our dream house, though we are on the way to make it happen. Still complaining why my colleagues could be pain in the ass, though I indeed know that everywhere I be, there will always be people like that. So, deal with it! Moreover, I am still complaining how I am suffered that my daughter is a picky-eater, without counting that her verbal skill is developing amazingly fast, that she is copying all the words that I spoke at her best, and many other things that I can’t define here. So, at the age of 28, why not see everything from the lighter side?

I am not a person who thinks that listing down resolutions for the upcoming year is something important. My life is based on just-go-with-the-flow basis though it does not mean that it was without plan. I plan everything that I like to do and never do the same way for things that I dislike. For example, today I can say that next year I should be going to Ha Noi as I postponed it for so long since before I had daughter, but I hesitate to plan that “I should be better managing anger at work”, simply because I know that it’s almost impossible to change myself into an emotionally-stable person that can conquer every conflict with logic and a flat face.

At this moment, 18th December 2012, I should put “stop complaining” plan on the top of the 2013 list of resolution. Sometimes I wish to transfer myself from Choleric to Pleghmatic person, from the determined into a reserved one. But changing personality is not as simple as we think. This time, at least I can plan to start making peace within me.